|Majik's World of Fan Fic
|Friends & Lovers (Willow & Tara) Adult
|Page 1 of 1|
|Author:||CaughtNtheQuiet [ Sun Sep 10, 2006 12:28 am ]|
|Post subject:||Friends & Lovers (Willow & Tara) Adult|
another early piece of fanfic...
Legal stuff...It's all Joss'...I just made stuff up about stuff he already made up
Friends and Lovers
(A 'missing scene' from
New Moon Rising: Written by Marti Noxon)
Tara sat in her dorm room unable to move. ‘Oz was in Willow’s room this morning…they must have spent the night together.’ She was numb; her relationship with Willow was so new and fragile but…they were so in sync. She loved Willow and thought Willow loved her even though she’d never said anything. ‘But Oz is back. Her first love…the one she was so heartbroken over when we met.’
Tara remembered the long nights she and Willow spent together getting to know each other. She knew all about Oz; how he and Willow met, about his being a werewolf, about their decision to date anyway. How Will’s transgression with Xander had almost ended her relationship with Oz and how she and Oz had reconciled had been discussed at length. As had Oz’s betrayal with Veruca and how his leaving so abruptly had left Willow shattered. Her heart ached as she thought of the pain Willow had endured because of Oz…and wanted to cry when she thought about Willow going back to him. She knew Oz had been Willow’s first lover. Her only lover…until Tara.
Tara could hardly believe her life could be so changed in less than twenty-four hours. Yesterday, she and Willow had been talking about cats and making sure Tara’s room was ‘Willow-friendly’. They walked across campus holding hands; it was so amazing. She had been so excited, and just a little nervous, that Willow was taking her to her first ‘Scooby’ meeting. Then there was Oz. Tara felt the bottom drop out of her world; she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. She had hurriedly left Mr. Giles’, making some lame excuse about a study group, and hadn’t seen or heard from Willow since. Finding Oz in Willow’s room early this morning, Tara understood why. She was afraid to cry…afraid that if she started, she’d never stop. She wanted Willow to be happy. If that meant losing Willow to Oz…well…then that’s what had to be.
She’d still be Willow’s friend…if Willow wanted…although…their spell casting would have to end. It was far too intimate and she didn’t know about Willow; but Tara knew she wouldn’t be able to handle being that close to Willow and not being able to hold her or sleep curled up next to her after their spell casting. She and Willow had made love for the first time the night they first used Tara’s doll’s eye crystal. It had been sweet and tender. Willow had been so tentative at first but had proven to be a kind, gentle and generous lover. Would she throw away what they had to rekindle what she and Oz had shared? ‘I honestly don’t know.’ She thought.
She was startled from her reverie by a knock at the door. Before she even opened it, she knew Willow was on the other side.
“Hi,” Willow said nervously.
“Hi.” Tara responded, stepping back so Willow could come in then closing the door.
“I can only stay for a minute. I have a class.”
Tara nodded. “Me too. I-I have class too.” This was it then – Willow was about to break her heart. Tara steeled herself for the hurt.
“I just want you to know that what you saw this morning, it wasn’t…”
“No. It’s ok. I-I always knew that if he came back –“She didn’t want to hear Will say it wasn’t something she had planned and how sorry she was. She didn’t think she’d be able to bear it. ‘Just break my heart quick and be done with it,’ she thought.
“We were just talking. Nothing happened.”
Nothing happened. Tara smiled hopefully. “Oh. Really?”
“But, you know, it was intense. Just talking. We have a lot to talk about.” Willow said, frowning. “I feel like my head’s gonna explode.”
Tara hesitated, struggling for the right words and trying not to sound desperate. “Whatever, you know, happens…I’ll still be here. I’ll still be your friend.”
Willow looked surprised. “Of course we’ll be friends!” She exclaimed. “That’s not even a question!”
Tara struggled to maintain her composure. She didn’t want to upset Willow anymore than she already was and she didn’t want Willow to see how upsetting all this was for her, either. “But, I’m saying…I know what Oz means to you…”
“How can you when I’m not even sure? I mean…I know what he meant to me. But he left and…everything changed. I changed…and then we…”
“What?” Tara wanted to know how Willow felt. What she meant to Willow, but her heart broke as tears started forming in Willow’s eyes. Those beautiful green eyes that Tara got lost in.
“I don’t know. I just…life was starting to get so good again and…” Willow sighed and moved closer. “You’re a big part of that.” Tara wanted to reach out and hold Willow as the tears started to roll down her cheeks. “And here comes the thing I wanted most of all and…I don’t know what to do. I…I wanna know, but I don’t.”
The pain was so evident on Willow’s face that Tara hurt for her. She looked at Willow sympathetically and gently brushed the tears from her cheeks. “Do what makes you…h-happy.” Tara said, knowing that Willow might go to Oz, unable to bear the pain her lover was in.
Willow wrapped her arms around Tara and embraced her in a hug. Resisting wasn’t an option. She gently stroked Willow’s hair, letting the woman she loved cry; knowing her own tears would come later.
Willow gently pulled back from Tara and Tara saw the emotions play across Willow’s face. Lightly cupping Willow’s face in her hands, Tara gently kissed Willow’s forehead, then her eyelids and the tears from her cheeks. “I m-meant what I-I said…about you being h-happy.” She said, still holding Willow’s face and looking deep into her eyes. “I love you, Willow. A-and I-I’m not saying th-that to p-pressure you. I’m saying it b-because no matter what…I’ll be here.” Tara was surprised to see a small smile play on Willow’s lips but was even more surprised when the other woman reached up and cupped her face.
Returning the deep look, Willow whispered, “You mean so much to me, Tara.” She then leaned in and brought Tara’s face to hers. She lightly touched her lips to Tara’s and Tara felt the connection between them. It was unthinkable that Willow didn’t feel it too…especially when Will deepened the kiss and slid her hands to Tara’s hips, pulling Tara into her. She let herself get lost in Willow knowing that if Will left her for Oz, it would be that much more painful. She dropped her hands and wrapped them around Willow’s waist, pulling Willow into her.
Time seemed to stretch…she had no idea how long the kiss had lasted and was only vaguely aware of their movement to the bed. Willow was lying on top of her, still kissing her. Tara knew she should stop; but if she was going to lose Willow, she wanted this…this last memory of them together. She loved Willow and gave herself over to the passion.
Willow kissed her neck and moved to the hollow of her throat. Tara ran her fingers through Willow’s hair, pulling her head closer. Willow removed her sweater and her top and untied the top of Tara’s shirt. She lazily trailed her tongue into the valley between Tara’s breasts, taking little nips of skin between her teeth. Tara felt the heat rise between her legs and involuntarily arched her back. She held Willow to her, willing the moment to go on forever. Her lover’s breathing become labored as she slid down Tara’s body, raising Tara’s shirt and teasing her body with kisses and licks. She moaned as Willow’s hands slid along her stomach and under the waistband of her jeans. Willow undid the jeans and removed both them and Tara's underwear in one fluid moment. She moved back up Tara’s body, continuously kissing and licking exposed skin.
“Let’s get this off you.” Willow said huskily. Tara readily complied and her top joined Willow’s sweater and top on the floor. Tara vaguely noticed that Willow was bra-less as Will removed Tara’s own bra, then removed her own skirt and panties. She then covered Tara’s body with her own, kissing her again. Tara groaned as Willow’s knee settled between her legs and rocked into her. She reveled in the feeling of their breasts rubbing against each other. Tara’s purchase on reality started to slide as Willow started kissing her neck and ear and she arched into Willow as Willow’s tongue danced across her heated skin; her hands constantly stroking Tara.
Willow moved down Tara’s body; gone were the lazy, slow licks. They were replaced by a hungry mouth as Willow sucked and teased Tara’s nipples to erection. She slid two fingers inside of Tara and began to slowly move them in and out, quickening as she sucked harder on Tara’s nipple. Tara gasped…then moaned…at the exquisite sensations. She moved her hips in time with Willow’s fingers, trying to make Willow go faster. Will slowed down and Tara felt the sweet mix of agony and ecstasy. Willow kissed a trail from her nipples down her belly and to the vee of her thighs. Once again separating her legs, Willow began kissing, teasing and suckling Tara with her tongue, her fingers still moving in and out of the blonde. Tara’s body responded as she lost the ability to think of anything but the beautiful woman making love to her. Her body arched and bucked, willing her to move faster. Willow responded by slowing down even more, causing Tara to moan. Willow began again, bringing Tara to a fever pitch then slowing down. Tara felt ready to explode…and just when she thought she would never be released from this exquisite torture, Willow expertly licked and sucked…sliding her fingers in and out of Tara and quickly bringing her to orgasm. She arched into Willow’s face and fingers as Willow urged her release forward again and again. The waves of ecstasy rolled over her as she tightened around Willow’s fingers. She held Willow’s head tight to her pleasure zone and Willow complied…continuing to lick and suck until Tara broke over and over again.
Tara’s breathing slowly returned to normal as Willow brought her back down, again with slow, lazy licks and gentle trails of her fingers. Willow moved back up Tara’s body with a few gentle kisses here and there until she reached Tara’s face. She kissed Tara deeply and Tara could taste herself mingling with Willow’s breath. Willow pulled the comforter over them and cradled Tara as she drifted off to sleep.
Tara was disoriented for a moment as she roused herself from sleep. Then it all came rushing back to her. She had no idea when Will had left but she felt the emptiness as she realized she was alone. The tears came then. Even though she had wanted that moment, that memory, the pain of waking up and finding Willow gone was more than she could bear. She allowed herself a few minutes of self-pity then glanced at the clock. Damn, she was late for class…so much for a shower. She gathered her discarded clothing and slowly re-dressed. It hurt to breathe. Her legs were weak and she felt like she might collapse. Then she noticed Willow’s sweater was draped on the end of the bed and a glimmer of hope leapt in her heart. She had left it behind on purpose. Picking up the sweater brought Willow’s scent to her and she put it on over her clothes; Willow would be with her for the day. As she went over to pick up her books, the glimmer got brighter. There was a note from Willow on top of them.
When I woke up you looked so peaceful
I didn’t want to wake you. Did you know you’re
beautiful when you sleep? You are. I was running late
for class so I decided to go to my room, shower and
go to the library instead…it’ll be easier pretending to
study at the library than pretending to pay attention
I want you to know that I appreciate everything you
said. Thank you for loving me and for being so
patient and supportive. I’m not going to apologize
for this afternoon. I didn’t plan it…but I’m not sorry
about it, either.
I meant what I said…you DO mean a lot to me. I will
talk to you later today…I promise…I’m not gonna
Tara wiped a stray tear away and held on tightly to the two small glimmers of hope Willow had left her.
The campus was completely blacked out and Tara knew it probably had something to do with Oz and the Initiative. She sat staring out the window at the darkness, broken only by scattered flashes of light from candles and flashlights.
She still couldn’t believe the day she’d had. Thinking about it now still didn’t make it feel real. From Oz in Willow’s dorm room to Willow reassuring her that nothing had happened and their impromptu lovemaking session. Waking up to find Willow gone had hurt her but she had found Willow’s sweater and the note and hope had stayed with her. The sweater still smelled of Willow and Tara had put it on, wanting to feel close to the woman she loved.
Then there had been the confrontation with Oz. Tara shuddered at the memory. Their early afternoon lovemaking had left Willow’s scent all over her. Oz had initially thought it was because of the sweater…but had quickly made the leap to their involvement, becoming even more agitated when he asked “Is she in love with you?” It was a question Tara had asked herself a lot over the past two days. It hadn’t concerned her that Willow hadn’t said it; there was plenty of time. Now she wished she knew for sure. Oz’s questioning the possibility fed the glimmer of hope. She remembered Will’s reaction at seeing her in the library – “are you ok?” Then the panic when Tara told her Oz had wolfed out in broad daylight…her first thought had been to ask if Tara was all right…then she immediately ran off to find Buffy and rescue Oz. Tara hadn’t heard from Willow since. She understood Willow’s need or desire to help Oz; she hoped it wasn’t more than just wanting to help an old friend. Her head understood, anyway…her heart? Not-so-much.
She could hear the blackout parties going on around campus; she had been invited to several by her dorm-mates, but parties weren’t really a priority just now. Her room was still dark, she hadn’t bothered to light any candles. She was just so tired. The effects of the past two days had left her wiped out…physically, spiritually, emotionally…she was completely wrecked.
The knock at the door startled her. Willow. It was Willow. Tara sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time that day and mustered up the strength to steel herself again for the heartbreak she was sure was waited on the other side of that door. She hesitated a moment before opening the door. Willow was standing on the other side holding a candle Tara vaguely recognized as one they had bought together.
“No candles? Well, I brought one…it’s extra-flamey.”
Tara just stood there looking at Willow, too tired to try and read anything into what Willow was saying. Willow stepped in and handed Tara the candle, closing the door behind her. “Tara…I have to tell you…” Willow started.
“N-no, I-I understand. Y-you have to be with the p-person you l-love.” Tara felt her heart break in that moment. Willow had chosen Oz, she was sure of it. She watched as a smile crept across Willow’s face.
‘What?’ Tara thought, her brain not believing her ears. She looked at Willow in amazement. “You mean…”
“I mean.” Willow paused for a moment. “Okay?”
“Oh, yes.” Tara felt that small glimmer of hope she’d been holding onto all day explode and invade every inch of her. Willow had chosen her. Willow…loved…her.
Willow stepped forward, a serious look on her pretty face. “I feel horrible about everything I put you through. A-and I’m gonna make it up to you. Starting right now.”
Tara felt the smile form on her lips as she looked playfully at Willow. “Right now?” She asked, still unable to believe that Willow had chosen her. That not only was she Willow’s…but Willow was now hers…unreservedly.
Willow smiled and nodded. Tara blew out the candle and Willow moved to her, taking the candle and setting it on the dresser. She turned back to Tara and Tara could see her smile by the light of the full moon filtering through the curtains. Willow moved to Tara and gently kissed her lips. She took Tara by the hand and led her to the bed. Once there, Willow laid her down and kissed her again, stroking her side lazily with one hand. Tara was surprised when Willow pulled back, still stroking her side. Willow looked at Tara, a soft smile on her lips. “Tara…I know I’ve never said this…and I think it’s long overdue. I love you. I am sorry for everything I’ve put you through the past few days. I think you should know…and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this before…maybe because I didn’t know it myself…leaving you for Oz was never really an option. In my heart, I knew that. I just didn’t know how to do it. Oz and I didn’t break up because we stopped loving each other. And I just didn’t know how to tell him I’d moved on. And…what makes it so much worse is…you almost got hurt…or worse…because I wasn’t honest. With you, or Oz or anyone about who you are and what you mean to me. I love you, Tara. It was an unexpected open window when Oz closed our door and I don’t know why it took me so long to finally admit that I loved you.” The whole time she’d been talking, Willow hadn’t stopped touching and stroking Tara and Tara reveled in the contact.
“I love you, Willow.”
Willow leaned in and kissed her again. Tara tried to stifle a yawn but couldn’t. She’d had very little sleep for two days. As much as she wanted to make love with Willow, Tara knew she couldn’t stay awake much longer. “Willow…” Tara said hesitantly.
“No more hesitation…you don’t have to worry…I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m just so tired. I want you…I want this…but…”
“I know, baby.” Tara’s heart leapt at the ease with which Willow called her “baby”. “It’s been a long couple of days. I haven’t slept except for that half hour this afternoon.” Willow smiled wickedly, making Tara blush at the memory of their ‘nap’. “Maybe we can just snuggle for now? I love you. I’m not going anywhere ever again. I’ll be here in the morning…if you want me to be.” Willow said, kissing the top of Tara’s head.
“Oh, yes. I want.” Tara said feeling the stress and strain of the past two days fall away. Willow loved her. Willow. Loved. Her. She lifted her face to Willow and Willow responded to the invitation by kissing her sweetly. “I love you, Willow.”
“I love you, Tara. So very much.” Willow whispered. “Let’s get some sleep…we can talk and” - there was that wicked smile again – “make up in the morning…or afternoon…or both. But for now…” Willow stood up and slowly stripped out of her clothes. Tara marveled at the beauty of this woman. “Your turn.” Willow said. Tara stood up and started to remove the sweater she’d been wearing all day. “No…wait…” Willow said, coming around to Tara’s side of the bed. Tara was amazed at Willow’s seeming lack of self-consciousness. Willow stroked Tara’s hair and kissed her tenderly as she gently removed her sweater and tossed it aside. She stroked Tara’s sides and slid her top up over her head. She kissed Tara again as she not-so-deftly removed Tara’s bra. Tara was instantly self-conscious and began to cross her arms in front of her.
“No…baby…don’t…you are so beautiful. Don’t hide from me.” Willow said, gently uncrossing Tara’s arms and kissing her neck, pulling her close so that their naked bodies made contact. “You don’t ever have to hide from me.” She ran her hand over Tara’s back and slipped her hands under the waistband of Tara’s jeans and underwear. Tara stepped out of them as Willow slid them down her legs. “So beautiful,” she murmured, nuzzling Tara’s neck. Willow took Tara by the hand and led her back to the bed. Turning the bed down, she slid under the covers drawing Tara in with her. She then drew the covers over both of them and curled up next to Tara.
“Much better.” Willow declared.
“Much.” Tara agreed, feeling the warmth of the woman next to her. Her soft curves and smooth skin and the way her hands never stopped gently caressing Tara; it wasn’t sexual…it was more like Willow just wanted to keep touching her, reassuring both of them that this was real.
Tara yawned and Willow moved closer. “Sleep, baby…I’ll be here in the morning.”
“I know…I just…I don’t want to…you love me…I don’t want to sleep because no dream could be sweeter.” Tara said, knowing how silly (or…sappy) it probably sounded to Willow.
They talked quietly for awhile, Willow’s hands in constant, almost unconscious, motion. Tara didn’t know how long they were awake but her last thought before drifting off to sleep in her redhead’s arms was that her life had just promised to get better than she’d ever thought it would.
Tara woke with a start and rolled over. Willow was smiling at her.
“Good morning, my love.”
“You-you’re here…” Tara couldn’t believe she hadn’t dreamt last night.
“I told you I would be. And I’ll be right back. I have to pee but I didn’t want to go in case you woke up. I didn’t want to not be here if you did. I didn’t want you to feel even a moment of uncertainty. Never again.”
Tara smiled as she watched Willow throw one of Tara’s over-sized shirts over her head and leave the room. ‘She’s still here. She loves me.’ Tara still couldn’t believe it…and she also couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. The smile was still there when Willow came back a few minutes later.
“What?” She asked, removing the shirt and climbing back into the bed.
“I just can’t believe it. My life has changed so much – twice in forty-eight hours. I can’t believe you love me. You chose me. I can’t believe how lucky I am.”
Willow smiled and shook her head. “I’m the lucky one. You were patient. You waited for me. I love you, Tara. And…I believe I said something about making up for everything I put you through.” Tara watched as that wicked, wicked smile took over Willow’s face. “If that’s ok with you…”
“Oh…yes…” Tara said. Her best friend loved her…something Willow spent the next several hours showing her just how much.
|Author:||Angie [ Tue Sep 12, 2006 12:57 am ]|
Hey Laurie! I just finished this story and I liked the emotions and devotion that Tara felt for Willow - then the end when Willow told Tara she was with her, that was sweet too. Good job!
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